Pick the proper time to connect with your new man over social media. (David Castillo Dominici/freedigitalphotos.net)
I love social media. It gives me a means to keep in touch with friends and family I don’t get to see often. I can use it to promote any projects I’m working on. And, I’m always entertained when someone uses their Facebook account to give a play-by-play of their latest breakdown. It’s social connections and entertainment all in one blue-tinted place. But when is it the right time to introduce your online persona to the person you’re dating?
Researching the person you’re dating is usually a quick Google search away. You can find out where they work, their arrest record and all about their social-media world. I like to think of that as a parallel universe where you can use a filter to make your life seem far more interesting than it is. It’s a virtual world where people who would ignore each other in person are leaving each other adorable comments on each other’s lady-with-a-fake-moustache pictures. It’s usually not a true reflection of real life.
So why would we invite someone we’re just getting to know into this fantasyland? Not only does it give them a false sense of who we are but it opens up a Pandora’s box of past picture analysis. I don’t need the guy I just started dating to look at pictures of me with guys and assume that I’ve slept with them and then create a twisted story in his head based on the comments below the picture. On my part, I don’t need to look through a guy’s Instagram so I can learn about the foods he likes and wonder who takes all the fake candids of him playing music in the woods. It’s not productive, and it gives you a skewed sense of the person you’re trying to get to know.
Just like waiting for sex is a good idea if you truly want to get to know someone, there should be a mandatory social media waiting period. Let them get to know you in the flesh before they meet the virtual you.