I’m single but I have married friends (because I’m open minded), and I’ve seen the pain they experience when their spouse cheats.
I’ve seen how it can destroy a family and the ripple effect of everyone around the couple. I have a shallow understanding of what drives a man to cheat but this is about their cheating partner.
Before I start off, I want to say that I am aware that the person who jeopardizes their marriage is more at fault than the person they choose to cheat with. But I’m not talking about men who cheat on their wives right now. I’m talking about a breed of women who exclusively date married men.
I’ve known quite a few of these types of women in passing. For some reason these types of women have always taken to me and told me all about their relationships. I’ve had these chats with coworkers, sitting next to a stranger on a plane, even at the nail salon over a pedicure.
I happen to love talking to new people and learning what made them who they are. I like learning what drives them to do self destructive things because we all hurt ourselves in one way or another. And we all have insecurities. We just have different ways of seeking validation.
Most of the time the pain is inflicted directly on us. Then there are the individuals who hate themselves so much that they need to know that someone is risking their family and hurting their wife to be with them. This is the ultimate stamp of approval.
I’ve also heard these women justifying their actions as heroic based on the sob story the adulterer gives them. “His wife doesn’t give him any attention.”
“She got fat after she had kids and didn’t do anything to change it.”
Then there’s the best rationalization of them all. “He regrets marrying her. We’re soulmates.”
I know cheating happens every day and I will never excuse either party. However, to actively seek out someone who has taken a vow to someone else is just ugly.